Be like a duck

Are we all doomed too misery? Does God plan certain ones of us to be happy and others to torture? And does he intentionally put those who are happy infront of those who arent for tortureous purposes? I see what i want. Ive moved on once, i feel like i need to move one again, but honestly how much more perfect can they get? I hope there is someone meant even more for me than she is, but thats hard to concieve. when she seems so perfect. She likes me i see it in her face i hear it in her, and when she goes to punch me and call me a jerk i can sense her nervousness. A nervousness i feel too but i try to hide it and i look like an idiot.
She wants to go do stuff. She floods her texts and messages to me with hehes when hahas will do. She looks and smells so beauitful even after the crapiest longest day of school and the gym. I dont know what it is, the cuteness of those braces, the depth of that eye, the beauty of them together, the smell that i cant place yet if i ever smell it i think of her, the way she looks at me in a sarcastic manner but cant stay composed, they way she was valedictorian her grades are better than mine yet i help her to do better, how i spent hours reviewing her paper while mine i wrote in meager hours.
Yet i leave space i give her time and she comes for me like a trap ive set but when i get to the trap to let her out and finally let her be mine she somehow escapes again, yet i want her so bad that i set the trap and other traps again.


The best is to be like a duck "Unruffled and calm on top and paddling like hell underneath"