Apiphany

Woah this past week is CRAZY!!!!!! I understand now why what happened, happened! This past week I have been sad about god breaking us up. Sunday I knew that she was just being straight up with me, but then when i got to school, you know how everyone is, they know whats going on and somehow make it seem like they know more about it than you do. So I was sad and weak and I let their opinions influence me and look what happened! I end up hurting someone i care about even more because somehow people influenced me enough to ask questions and say things that I nevr would have said in the first place. I became exactly what I spent my whole high school career protecting my friends from. So i was talking about it with a girl at my church because of coarse shes nonbiased, but we're friends so she tryed to help. So Wednesday comes Along and she calls to talk and Im like Im fine now but w/e we can talk anyway and she goes " No, I need Doctor Phil" so im like whats up is your old BF after you again and shes like "no." "My mom came in my room crying and talking about not being able to handle it anymore and she had all these pills" So this past week Ive been helping her with that and I will be for a while now, you see thats what it was God wasn't trying to hurt Jessica or myself, he knew that I needed time to give to someone else and he took Jessica's time cause as they say God is "Generous." I still think sometimes though "Why couldn't you just take Mark's time?" lol But now Im ready to help this girl and I hope that Jessica will still want to be my friend. I know it will be hard though cause I basically stomped on all the trust she gained in me. I want to be therefor Jessica too but I can't be there if she doesn't want me to and thats what i have to figure out.