Wow! last night was the best conveersation i've had in a while. I wont go into detail but it was good. I felt like a huge burden was lifted. I took on a new burden though but its new so its ok. Last night I said it was over, but I think its only the beginning, of what I don't know. The only thing I can say is that no matter what you said and I said its not over and I think you know it, you want it to be and I want it to be for you but its not. I hate my heart sometimes, God blessed me with a good heart and I KNOW that for a fact. My heart is like the Pheonix when it dies it is reborn of the flames, and last night i signed a paper that said I would stop but Im not 18 so its not legally binding.
I am more rested now but I shutter to think, that after alllllllllll that I still have hope. I mean you said you couldn't love me, you still loved him and you will forever, I know that. I think though that you're crazy if you thought you were going to love me in a month more than you love him in 17 years. I mean I guess im crazy cause you shot straight to the top of my list and I loved you more than a lot of people, who I don't know, not my mom or dad or sister but people ive known for a while. Love takes time sometimes and sometimes not. There are also diffrent types of love and you may soon find out that you can love in diffrent ways than you thought. That is something I learned from all this.
What takes more than you want but gives you everything you need,
and can leave in a second or come back when you've leaved,
when you turn your back it appears,
but if you look to hard youll be waiting years?
Love
~ Me~
Im looking everywhere, don't think Im not I ready to move past this. If what you KNOW will happen doesn't, don't be scared to come back to me where ever I am, you will always have another chance.
I have more but I don't, it will be here later.
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