Monday, June 4, 2007
Purple Mountain Tragedy!
Well I just got back from Colorado, and it was A LOT OF FUN!!! But it did me some bad too. At first I it took my mind off everthing thats been happening the past month. I called Kaitlyn and Brittany like once the first couple days. We got to Golden and the Coors Brewery!!! and so I sent a text to like 10 people including Jessica, and you want to know who the first to text me back was? It was her. Then we went to the national park and it was SOOOO beautiful! This is were I got into trouble, every mountain I saw, every stream that ran, everything good about the park made me think, Oh I should get a picture of this so Jessica can see it. Then it hit me everytime how am I going to show it to Jessica? She probably wouldn't care. It seems like God is saying look at those beautiful Mountains and behind Mountain Number 1 Jessica, then the door closes; its like the Price is Right without the bidding. But Im still good though cause she is still there and Im still here and she seems to be happy with what ever shes doing this summer, which I guess is all that matters. If I can't cause her happiness and I only bring more pain for her then its probably best that I just disappear. I don't know though! I say this now but in two weeks what if i want to say hey. I guess there is no right answer, there is no Dr. Phil he doesn't exist or Oprah, THEY wouldn't know what to do.
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2 comments:
I'm glad you had fun in Colorado, I saw the pictures on Facebook, and the mountains were REALLY pretty, and not North Carolina-ish.
And as for this "happiness" stuff, let me just say that you always made me happy, and you always made me smile... I brought that pain on myself, so don't you dare feel like you have to take the blame for that. Okay? And no, don't dissapear, because I'd love to hang out and see how you are sometime. I said, "Don't be a stranger..." and you told me you wouldn't.
Anyway, my summers been crazy and dramatic and all over the place. I leave Saturday for the beach, though, so it should all clear up by then.
Have fun, dont forget the little ppl who havent graduated yet, :)
~me~
I read it and you're right I said I wouldn't be a stranger, and Im not. All I have now is my integrity. Is that fair though? You said we'd work through it and I want to believe we still are, I really do, and about 80% of me knows it. But are we working through it? Be straight up. Do you want it to work? I know maybe you need a break and it was probably a good thing. I know it hurt I know it was hard, I know you still care and please know that I care more than anything. But was it just to ease the pain for me cause I thank you if it was but if you're going to hit me atleast do it hard. So was it to soften the blow or do you want me to stay awake?
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