Today was great.. class 3 hour nap more class then FOOTBALL for 2 hours then I went to the movies with the Orange. We talked a little during the movie but watched it, I could sense some tension all night but I didnt let up I pulled harder and harder not showing weakness.
It started whenI brought her some cake and she TOOOK it all down. Then we went to the movie, and she sat as close to me as she could without sitting in my seat, I kept hearing her take breaths as though she was frustrated because I wouldnt put my arm around her. She kept leaning over to whisper to me and sometimes I would look down to make eye contact and others not... just to keep the interest going. I kept her at arms length as it were. We got back to her dorm and we stood there talking and then it got so long that we sat down to talk and then that got so long that she was cold... I wasn't sure where I was in the whole thing so.... I said "Oh yeah you are supposed to study some more here Ill back I have some stuff to do anyway" "NO NO please stay I dont mean to run you off" "No its cool I gotta do some stuff anyway" "Well lemme hear from you this weekend then!" and I left. As I was walking away I got a text... "I can here you coughing all the way up here" so I quickly said "OH sorry Im gonna try to stop" "Oh no its fine I know it must get on your nerves too" wait ten minutes and I receive " I had a really good time at the movies with you and talking" "Well I did too make sure you have time to talk this weekend" "Oh dont worry haha drunkish daniel is always fun HEHE" "Oh so youll only talk to me if im drunk ;)" "You know what I mean haha" "I do I do and feel free to call me if you want too" "Haha okay"
Well I should at least say it was a good day for this week at least... Ive had better but somehow something feels diffrent, now that I have run so far now that I almost dont care at all it seems to be coming back but im not gonna let it in. Yesterday talking about the orange made me realize something... sometimes its not best to give all your juice because all you leave to be needed is the rind, but if you each give equal parts center and rind it all works better.
2 comments:
Well sorry that I haven't been able to talk that much this week. But from your last two posts, I can see something happening here, both good and bad. You are starting to realize how things are really working, that is you know you should be getting more than you are. You deserve more than just a rind. You are half right with what you said about each giving half a rind. But even that is not good enough. I have always believed in order for a relationship to truly work, you must give ALL you have. And the person you are with should also give all they have. An even swap of everything. Only then can you be truly happy.
But I stand by what I said. Read over your post again. Slowly. You analyzed every last detail hoping to gleam some inner truth to a situation that could have easily been solved by simply asking one question: "Why?" But do not get confused with thinking the question should be appended with "Why me" but instead, ask her this question: "Why do you deserve me?" I know what I have done lately. I know what you have done. What has the ORANGE done other than bask in the sun, get plucked off a tree by you, and carried away in a basket? It's not good enough that getting the ORANGE gives you ORANGE JUICE...because you don't need orange juice, you need apple juice. Seek love elsewhere. Wrong orchard.
Yeah I know it should be two whole I was trying though to say that both have to give the same amount... it just worked better for one orange I should have said it takes two oranges to make orange juice so both should give their whole orange, but anyway.
We'll talk more when I get down there about it, cause the orange is starting to do stuff. The orange always heard me talk of my great thirst but didnt believe that I am a man of many flavors, and until it realized I had been to the vineyard to quench my thirst it didnt believe that other juices could do so. I have shown the orange now that in its pursuit to be illusive I would rather drink of the other fruits than die falling from the high branch it clings to, and in doing so let it rot in the gleaming sun which it once prided itself on, for what is an orange without someone to enjoy it?
So now the orange is in pursuit of me of the one with the basket the one that appreciates all its flavors. But the orange is going to have to gleam like it has never gleamed before if it wishes me to come. It will then have to resolve to let go of the high branch on which it hangs letting go of the gleaming sun that it has clung to and allow it to be peeled and enjoyed, for the age of the Teeter is coming... and the oranges there are all laid out for you with no risk involved.... lol (The Teet I said teet)
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